Thursday, July 11, 2013

Sorry!

     So earlier i tried to write a book but it did not work. Yesterday i quit writing that book and started writing a new book. I'm not sure what the title is yet but I'll tell you what i have so far.

     Prologue

     "We can ride this stubborn old brute to where the lubbers lie. Then at night we will press-gang(capture in human language) a princess leaving a note t say we took her and will only give her back  for 5,000 doubloons. What do ye all say to this mighty plan?" "Aye, Aye!" " Good, when the sun sets we will be ready."

Chapter One

     "Come in." "Your Highness the queen is wanting your presence in her garden." "(sigh) Ok, I'm coming." "You are exactly forty-seven seconds late daughter." "Sorry mother." 'Princess's are never late." "But mother!" "Quiet! Never mind that, what have you done today?" "Handwriting, posture, dancing, dressing and singing." "Good, go inside. Elsa will fit you for the next ball." "Elsa?' "Yes, the new seamstress. Now go."
     "Ouch!" "Sorry, Crown princess." "Please use a duller needle, Elsa. By the way did you just call me Crown princess?" "Yes, why do you inquire? You are the crown princess after all" "My maids usually call me your highness, that's all." "I am not a maid i am a seamstress." "Well in my point of view the two are almost the same." "No one cares about your point of view crown princess." "How dare you!" "But they don't do they?" "Of course they do!" "How can you be sure?" "I'm not." "Exactly."
     "Mother I'm finished dinning, may i retire to my chamber for the night?" "Yes."
     "Is she asleep?" "I think so." "Do you have the note?" "Ya." "Help me tie her up, and do not forget the gag.' "Can i stuff her in the sack now?" "Whatever, as long as you carry her out to the brute."

2 comments:

  1. Hey Emma! Great story, but I do have a suggestion.
    All the speaking is getting confusing. Could you do something like "Blahblahblah" she said" or "Blahblahblah" Bob cried." That would make it a lot easier to understand. Other than that, great story!

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  2. I'm not sure why my comment last night didn't publish. I agree with photomom that you have a great story. Lots of fun and excitment. However it is hard to follow who is talking. The rule is that when the person speaking changes you start a new paragraph. Even if it is a very brief quote. For example:
    Amy asked, "How are you today?"
    "I haven't been well this whole week."
    "I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything I could do to help you?"
    "No but thank you."
    You might want to try that. I'm really tickled you are writting. Keep sharing I want to know what happens.


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